I won’t spend too much time (well… at least not today) on this because I feel like there are so many other chips at this block out there already. However, I do want to shed a little light on the subject because so many people struggle in this area of their lives.
Break-ups can take many forms… distance can develop between close relatives, the liveliest of friendships comes to a dramatic halt, and the one we most dread… the end of the special relationship. The end of a romantic, special relationship often leaves one feeling a sense of void or emptiness. How can you actually feel emptiness, you may ask? Really, what you feel is the pain of what you perceive as a loss. It’s a constant, gut-wrenching agony that is with you when you open your eyes in the morning. It lingers throughout the day and climbs in bed with you at night as a trusted companion. I get it. I’ve been there.
However, I learned that those feelings are all an illusion. The feeling of pain is an illusion. The feeling of emptiness is an illusion and I will go as far to say that the special relationship that caused you to hallucinate is an illusion.
The special relationship came about as a substitute for wholeness and when that relationship is gone, we then feel empty and incomplete. The special relationship is a fear-based partnership to satisfy our longing for oneness. However, our true state of being is love. Love is complete in itself. It is not something of which you can break-up or break-away. It is not something that you fall in and out of. God is love. We were made in His image. Therefore, using my fancy deductive reasoning skills here, I conclude that we are love.
“The reason why the romantic love relationship is such an intense and universally sought-after experience is that it seems to offer liberation from a deep-seated state of fear, need, lack, and incompleteness that is part of the human condition in its unredeemed and unenlightened state. There is a physical as well as a psychological dimension to this state.”
~Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
I will write on this more in the future as I feel like we’re only scratching the surface here. To conclude this portion though, I reiterate that when you become enlightened, you will realize that break-ups are not what they appear to be. A holy relationship is what you seek and is what you already are. It is one that is fashioned in unmerited love. It is one that grows through quiet, stillness and acceptance. There is no resistance or struggle. There is no judgment or clinging. There is no accuser and accusee (I made this word up). When your consciousness becomes illuminated, you will see your break-up as what it really is… a chance to get back to oneness.